Anonymous asked: Are you still alive?

Hello, you’ve reached the answering machine of this blog. The owner is off recovering from what she reckons is the plague, but she promises to be back very soon and annoy everyone with her existence!

Should I?

Someone needs to stop this chain of events from happening. Or it’s gonna happen.

This shit is viral

Be glad you are on the other side of my monitor as I type this because 8 people have now FALLEN VICTIM TO MY COOTIES.

Wouldn’t it be nice

I wish that I looked half as skinny and attractive as all these naked people that are appearing all over my dash.

Still dying

This has been the LONGEST diet of codeine, antibiotics, and porridge, EVER. I haven’t tasted anything remotely delicious in 15 days and I’m starting to get crazy withdrawals from KFC and MSG like you wouldn’t believe. Life is not worth living if I cannot eat ALL THE FOOD.

The other night I weighed myself because if there’s anything good to come out of this ordeal, it better be that I have lost weight. Some of my shorts, although already pretty loose-fitting, are feeling freakishly bigger to the point I need Steve Urkel suspenders. But as it turns out, I didn’t fucking lose any weight! FUCK YOU GOD AND YOUR FUCKING SHIT FUCK FUCK.

As you can tell, this lack of food and general health is directly effecting my sanity.

Anonymous asked: How old are you?

Legal.