It was me against The Cleaner

The other morning I found the cleaner putting up a sign on the bathroom wall. As I was reading it she turns to me and says something along the lines of “You need to sit on the toilet!”

EXCUSE ME? I know how to piss. I don’t know about you but who the fuck with a vagina gets up off the toilet MID-PISS and walks away? TELL ME.

Ok, so I obviously cannot be provoked on Monday mornings. While on my period. Because now she avoids eye contact with me after I exploded in her face. Sorrrrrry.

Actually “exploded in her face” might not be the best choice of words.